My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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