...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
