scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
