Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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