um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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