WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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