I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
