Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
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we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
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Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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