Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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