when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
