I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
