So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize