He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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