another moral hangover. fuck.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
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PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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