watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
lol hangovers are for mortals.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize