i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
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BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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