You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
