Welp...herpes.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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