I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
