Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
