Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
