Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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