Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
