I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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