my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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