Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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