wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
