Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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