just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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