you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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