its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
