Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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