Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
