My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
