i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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