Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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