so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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