I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
