So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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