plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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