My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize