I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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