and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
