btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
