I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
