i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
