Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't EVER smell your tampon
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
