That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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