Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
