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i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize