I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize