Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
