I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
