please come you make the beer taste better
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
