Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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