First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
vagina is talking i cant
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
