After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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