I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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